Gun Locks not Hard Body Proof.

I have to say this seems like another case of natural selection.

Police say after Hands on a Hardbody contestant Richard "Ricky" Vega, 24, broke into Kmart, then into the store's firearm glass case, he removed the trigger lock off the 12-gauge shotgun that he used to kill himself.

Messy. Are there no bridges in Texas? Breaking into a Wal-Mart seems like an awful lot of work just to blow your brains out.

Longview Police Sgt. Carlos Samples said information wasn't immediately available on how Vega removed the lock.

"It actually had a trigger lock on it, and he was able to remove that trigger lock," he said.

I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that he unlocked it with the key that the $7.50 an hour employee probably left hanging behind the counter.

Tom Crowley, public information officer for the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives in Dallas, said the locks are not designed to be taken off easily.

Nosiree! They sure ain't designed to be taken off easily! You got that right bishop! They are designed to be fumbled around with in the dark while an intruder is breaking into your home.

Vernon Orms, a sales clerk in the Longview Academy Sporting Goods hunting department, said trigger locks are difficult to remove and a special key or tool is required to open them.

That special tool is a key genius. Well done Mr. Orms. Things that open locks are keys. Just for future reference.

"He probably had to knock that thing off with something," Orms said. "He could take a hammer and bust one off. Even the metal ones can be knocked off, if you have something hard enough to hit it with."

Or he used Mr.Orms' "special tool."

Brathwaite said Friday the company reported the shotgun theft to ATF.

Why did he steal it? Wouldn't it have been easier to just take care of business in Wal-Mart.

Two contestants said Vega left the internationally popular contest Thursday around 6 a.m. and shortly before a scheduled 15-minute break for competitors. He walked across the street to Kmart, where a witness saw him send a trash can through the store's front door.

6 A.M.? Good Lord those Texans sure do party late. Or early. Interationally poular?! LOLOLOLOLOL! Um, ok. I guess some people take losing "Hand on a Hard Body" pretty hard. (That sounds very gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that.)

Gregg County Justice of the Peace Arthur Fort said Vega's body was lying between the front door and the jewelry counter. The sporting goods department, where firearms are kept, is located diagonally behind the jewelry section.

So I guess he didn't really steal the shotgun. I mean, he didn't leave the store with it.

Fort emphasized he's not ordering an autopsy "because we know the cause of death. An autopsy is done to determine the cause of death," he said. The cause of death is suicide. He shot himself in front of witnesses. He had a single shot to the head by the shotgun."

Good call Fort!

Remember folks, guns don't kill people, Hands on a Hard Body contests do.

Oh, by the way. This is what a Hands on a Hard Body contest is. Cuz this yankee ain't never heard of such a thing. (I still think it sounds very gay.)