Apparently our government has unlimited resources because even though we are constantly at risk of terrorist attacks, even though NOLA was destroyed, even though parts of Texas are about to be leveled, even though we are about to pay 5 friggin' dollars a gallon for gas, EVEN THOUGH we can't seem to wrap things up in Iraq we have the people and resources to fund the FBI's anti-obscenity squad. (Visions of Frank Drebin anyone?)
Pornography being smuggled into Massachusetts is getting more and more bizarre, just as the FBI is mobilizing to wage war with the flesh-fetish industry.
Cuz we don't have ANY bigger problems right?
In a recent span of two weeks, inspectors for U.S. Customs and Border Protection at Logan International Airport confiscated the following:
# A laptop computer containing films and photos of women performing sex acts involving dogs, horses and reptiles, taken off a passenger returning to Boston from Ireland;
# One hundred copies of a DVD depicting ``explicit'' sex with excrement, seized from a Federal Express package shipped to Rhode Island from the Netherlands.
So what? Gross? Absolutely. Affect me? Not in the FUCKING least. Hell, German and Japanese economies reolve around that stuff. (Odd that we've conquered both of them. Apparently when America beats your ass you develop a propensity for sex involving ka-ka.)
It was intercepted in Worcester when the title ``Domina and Caviar'' raised a red flag.
Raised a flag?! Who the hell would know what "Domina and Caviar" means? Apparently we have an aficionado ot the good ol' FBI.
All other louche loot winds up in the custody of U.S. Attorney Michael Sullivan's office, where it is ultimately destroyed unless someone is willing to fight for the sordid contraband in court.
I think that should probably read...
All other louche loot winds up in the custody of U.S. Attorney Michael Sullivan's office, where it is vigorously wacked off to unless someone is willing to fight for the sordid contraband in court.
Tee hee.
``In some instances,'' said Sullivan's spokeswoman, Samantha Martin, ``if the items are on a computer, the computer will be wiped clean, but they may want the computer back.''
May want their computer back? Yeah, I guess sometimes when the Feds confiscate your stuff sometimes you want it back.
The Washington Post reported this week that FBI headquarters has put out a call to agents to join a new national anti-obscenity squad targeting the ``manufacturers and purveyors'' of porn.
??? There is NOTHING MORE IMPORTANT TO DEAL WITH?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Gail Marcinkiewicz, spokeswoman for the FBI's Boston field office, concedes pornography is a tough foe. ``What may be considered obscene in Amish country,'' she said, ``may not be obscene in Los Angeles.''
Well, I guess she's right. I mean, remember that time porn flew the planes into the trade center? What about when porn blew up the Marine barracks in Beirut? How about that time porn tried to set off a sneaker bomb aboard a flight?
Give me a fucking break.
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