I Live for Scams.

Ocassionally at my work we will be target by some kind of credit card scam. Ususally it starts with a relay call with an email follow-up. I love this stuff. It's the one time at my work I'm allowed to REALLY screw with people.

This one went like this...

Scammer.
hello,
i was the caller who just called you and want to order a bmw car fuel pumps and the year is 96 and the model is 318i..and will want (20)of them..
so want to know the cost of 1 and the total cost of all the 20 ..
want to hear from you...
cedrick with best regards

Me.
20 of them! Oh my gosh! Thats the biggest order I've ever recieved! I
will actually make some commision for once and finally be able to buy my
children christmas presents this year. Thank you so much! I will sell
them for $150 each so 20 will cost $3000.00!!
I am very excited about your order! Please get back to me as soon a
possible!

Love
John

Scammer.
thanks for your reply and are they new units ?good and when can they be ordered and shipping day..
want to know and did you calculated them with the tax?
want to know and with best regards..

Me.
I love you so much. Seriously. With tax $3150.00. All new units. I live in a really bad neighborhood and we have no heat. Sometimes I steal food from my coworkers to feed my children so your super sale is super terrific.Don't tell anyone please. I can have them tomorrow and ship them tommorow. With the money from this sale I will move to better apartment finally and not live with the rats.

Me.
I have the fuel pumps here. Are we still a go? I hope so. I have plans for that money. I really need your money or I'll get fired for ordering all thee fuel pumps in.

Me.
HELLO? ANYBODY HOME?

Me.
HEY! I NEED TO KNOW WHERE TO SHIP THESE FUCKING FUEL PUMPS AND HOW THE FUCK YOU ARE GOING TO PAY FOR THEM! I PUT CURSES ON YOU EYES!

Scammer.(finally!)
thanks for your madafucking sheet reply you stupid
jerk with idiot wife and children and also put full
curse to you ,your family ,your work that and that is
going to work upon you ..since you dont know whom im
and you are telling me all this JERK MAN WITH NASTY
FAMILY AND WORK PLACE ...NEED NOT A REPLY FROM YOU
HORK....COX DONT HAVE TIME AND NOT GOING TO EVEN READ
THAT SHEET DO WILL ADVICE YOU TO KEEP THE REPLY TO UR
SELF NASTY BONE
FROM MR WISE

Oh great. Just what I need. A curse. What does "hork and cox" mean?

Me.
Does that mean you don't want the fuel pumps? Hey man I was just joshing you. Just having a good time! You know we cool man. What is a nasty bone? Does that mean white person? I'm not white if that is what that means. If I was white I would be rich like all the other rich white mother fuckers inthis shitty country. A wop bop a loo bop a wop bam boom. You know how we do. Kanye West is like all that up in the hizoo. Much peace and chicken grease cuz you know this fool don't be eatin no swine. George Bush hates black people. Black power.

Me.
Oh, and by the way. Is everyone in Africa a dishonest peice of shit like you? Nobody falls for these bull shit scams anymore.




To be madafucking continued?