Bruce's rules.

Check out the rules Bruce from mASSBACKWARDS has laid down. I'll be employing the same rules.

King Edward I You scored 66 Wisdom, 73 Tactics, 52 Guts, and 51 Ruthlessness!

Or rather, King Edward the Longshanks if you've seen Braveheart. You, like Edward, are incredibly smart and shrewd, but you win at any costs.... William Wallace died at his hands after a fierce Scottish rebellion against his reign. Despite his reputation though, Longshanks had the best interests of his people at heart. But God help you if you got on his bad side.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 58% on Unorthodox You scored higher than 58% on Tactics You scored higher than 39% on Guts You scored higher than 60% on Ruthlessness

Link: The Which Historic General Are You Test written by dasnyds on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

The Gun from Ipanema

Yeow!

Brazilians vote to keep there guns.

One man shot dead by opponent of ban during a debate

No that's how you debate an issue! I'd like to see Ted Kennedy involved in a similar means of debate.

More than two thirds of Brazilians vote against banning firearms

I sometimes doubt we could do so well.

If you take guns away from people and leave them only in the hands of criminals, what will happen?" - Yome, 80, opponent of the ban

No shit? They get it in Brazil? They don't get it in Boston. No shit.

I have to say I'm impressed.

Lynn Bars

Really funny post over on the Boston Noise forum. Of course it's commented on by a bunch af Allston hipster fucktards but you don't have to read all of that.

Fourth Place!

Hurray! At least we excel at something! The Lynn Item reports this.

City ranks fourth in violent crimes

Do we get a trophy?

An annual crime statistics report released by the FBI this week indicates that there were 990 violent crimes reported in the city in 2004, which translates into about one violent crime for every 90 residents.
The statistics put Lynn right below Springfield, Boston and Fall River, respectively, in a class of cities with the highest crimes rates in the state.
Compared to Lynn's 1-in-90 ratio, Springfield had one crime committed for every 54 residents - making it the city with the highest rate of violent crimes in the state. Boston and Fall River both had one crime committed for every 83 residents

But we're working on it.

While the numbers represent a slight increase in the crime rate from the previous year in Lynn, Police Chief John Suslak responded to the FBI's report by defending the department's recent crackdown on gang violence and efforts to revive the former days of community policing.

No offense chief, but I drive by these gang bangers just about every other day. they ain't hard to find. Do something.

"(The numbers) are higher than we'd like to see," Suslak said. "Unfortunately, a lot of the violent crimes are part of the gang environment. It's not like this is occurring randomly."

So...

Clancy said while the gang presence of the city concerns him, he doesn't believe the average person is affected or at-risk of violence.

Dope.

ommmmmm.

I'm not reading the news, listening to talk radio, or reading blogs for a week to see if it makes me a happier person. The fact that I am absolutely steaming and it's only 9:56 AM Monday morning is the reason why. blah blah blah. blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

For now, heres 2 guys drinking in a boat. On dry land. In a garage. Everett style.

Remember.

* Hull Maintenance Technician 2nd Class Kenneth Eugene Clodfelter, 21, of Mechanicsville, Virginia.
* Electronics Technician Chief Petty Officer Richard Costelow, 35, of Morrisville, Pennsylvania.
* Mess Management Specialist Seaman Lakeina Monique Francis, 19, of Woodleaf, North Carolina
* Information Systems Technician Seaman Timothy Lee Gauna, 21, of Rice, Texas
* Signalman Seaman Cherone Louis Gunn, 22, of Rex, Georgia
* Seaman James Rodrick McDaniels, 19, of Norfolk, Virginia
* Engineman 2nd Class Marc Ian Nieto, 24, of Fond du Lac, Wisconsin
* Electronics Warfare Technician 2nd Class Ronald Scott Owens, 24, of Vero Beach, Florida
* Seaman Lakiba Nicole Palmer, 22, of San Diego, California
* Engineman Fireman Joshua Langdon Parlett, 19, of Churchville, Maryland
* Fireman Patrick Howard Roy, 19, of Cornwall on Hudson, New York
* Electronics Warfare Technician 1st Class Kevin Shawn Rux, 30, of Portland, North Dakota
* Mess Management Specialist 3rd Class Ronchester Manangan Santiago, 22, Kingsville, Texas
* Operations Specialist 2nd Class Timothy Lamont Saunders, 32, of Ringgold, Virginia
* Fireman Gary Graham Swenchonis Jr., 26, Rockport, Texas
* Ensign Andrew Triplett, 31, of Macon, Mississippi
* Seaman Craig Bryan Wibberley, 19, of Williamsport, Maryland

Helpful Site.

I was scouring the internet trying to find a site like this. Of course my wife found it effortlessly.

http://www.newenglandoil.com/index.asp

Poppy Zegger-Murphy

This makes me so fucking mad I could cry. In fact I did a little. With all the fucking filth we let stream over our borders we are busting this poor couples balls?!?!?!? This is where we choose to be firm on our policies? ALL THEY WANT IS A FUCKING GREEN CARD SO THEY CAN WORK TO PAY THE MEDICAL BILLS NECESSARY TO SAVE THEIR DAUGHTER'S LIFE WHILE STAYING CLOSE TO THEIR DAUGHTER!!! THEY DON"T WANT A HANDOUT!

There is more info here.

I'll update this later. I'm too fucking distraught right now.

More here.

"We would like to get the green card so that we can support ourselves. We're trying to do the right thing. We don't want to be a burden on society," says Zegger-Murphy.




"Anyone wishing to donate towards care costs for Poppy is asked to send money to: Natwest Bank, 121 High St, Oxford, OX1 4DD, Sort Code: 60-70-03, Account Number 50086405.

Alternatively, people can send cheques made payable to Chris or Philomena Zegger-Murphy, C/O 16 Florence Street, Hucknall, Nottingham NG15 6EB."

That's the only address I can find so far. I'd feel better about a US contact address. If I find one I'll post it.

Update.

A little more here.

Update.


USA: Poppy Zegger-Murphy
c/0 Philomena & Chris Zegger-Murphy
The Family Inn, 70 Sewall Avenue, Brookline, Boston MA 02446

Subway.

I call bullshit on the whole NY subway threat thing. Sorry. I just don't buy it. The intel cam out of Iraq? 19 terrorists? Give me a break. Sorry. I just don't buy it.

I Live for Scams.

Ocassionally at my work we will be target by some kind of credit card scam. Ususally it starts with a relay call with an email follow-up. I love this stuff. It's the one time at my work I'm allowed to REALLY screw with people.

This one went like this...

Scammer.
hello,
i was the caller who just called you and want to order a bmw car fuel pumps and the year is 96 and the model is 318i..and will want (20)of them..
so want to know the cost of 1 and the total cost of all the 20 ..
want to hear from you...
cedrick with best regards

Me.
20 of them! Oh my gosh! Thats the biggest order I've ever recieved! I
will actually make some commision for once and finally be able to buy my
children christmas presents this year. Thank you so much! I will sell
them for $150 each so 20 will cost $3000.00!!
I am very excited about your order! Please get back to me as soon a
possible!

Love
John

Scammer.
thanks for your reply and are they new units ?good and when can they be ordered and shipping day..
want to know and did you calculated them with the tax?
want to know and with best regards..

Me.
I love you so much. Seriously. With tax $3150.00. All new units. I live in a really bad neighborhood and we have no heat. Sometimes I steal food from my coworkers to feed my children so your super sale is super terrific.Don't tell anyone please. I can have them tomorrow and ship them tommorow. With the money from this sale I will move to better apartment finally and not live with the rats.

Me.
I have the fuel pumps here. Are we still a go? I hope so. I have plans for that money. I really need your money or I'll get fired for ordering all thee fuel pumps in.

Me.
HELLO? ANYBODY HOME?

Me.
HEY! I NEED TO KNOW WHERE TO SHIP THESE FUCKING FUEL PUMPS AND HOW THE FUCK YOU ARE GOING TO PAY FOR THEM! I PUT CURSES ON YOU EYES!

Scammer.(finally!)
thanks for your madafucking sheet reply you stupid
jerk with idiot wife and children and also put full
curse to you ,your family ,your work that and that is
going to work upon you ..since you dont know whom im
and you are telling me all this JERK MAN WITH NASTY
FAMILY AND WORK PLACE ...NEED NOT A REPLY FROM YOU
HORK....COX DONT HAVE TIME AND NOT GOING TO EVEN READ
THAT SHEET DO WILL ADVICE YOU TO KEEP THE REPLY TO UR
SELF NASTY BONE
FROM MR WISE

Oh great. Just what I need. A curse. What does "hork and cox" mean?

Me.
Does that mean you don't want the fuel pumps? Hey man I was just joshing you. Just having a good time! You know we cool man. What is a nasty bone? Does that mean white person? I'm not white if that is what that means. If I was white I would be rich like all the other rich white mother fuckers inthis shitty country. A wop bop a loo bop a wop bam boom. You know how we do. Kanye West is like all that up in the hizoo. Much peace and chicken grease cuz you know this fool don't be eatin no swine. George Bush hates black people. Black power.

Me.
Oh, and by the way. Is everyone in Africa a dishonest peice of shit like you? Nobody falls for these bull shit scams anymore.




To be madafucking continued?

Weasels!

I have a soft spot for ferrets. I admit it, I'm a sucker for cute little fuzzy jesters. They make awesome pets. They are by NO means easy pets to own but you cannot stay in a bad mood when ferrets are running around and they genuinely seem to love you back.

Mass Ferret Friends is the shelter my wife and I adopted 2 of our 4 ferrets from.(Above.) They have run out of foster homes and can no longer accept any surrendered ferrets.

If you have the time in your life for a couple of really great pets please look into adopting a couple of cage mates. They can be a pain in the ass sometimes (thats why so many people give them up) and they will really break your heart if you lose one but the enjoyment you will get from them is awesome. It really is.

Here is the list of adoptable ferrets.

From the Florida Tourism Department.

Sheep. You can see what these assholes are about here. The demeanor of the whole thing makes me want puke. What the hell is wrong with people?

Brilliant.

"Government big enough to supply everything you need is big enough to take everything you have ... The course of history shows that as a government grows, liberty decreases." - Thomas Jefferson

56 Years Old.

So I was over my parents house this past weekend and I saw a returned package on the kitchen table. My Dad told me he sent it to his best friend Buddy Mage over in Afghanistan and for some reason it didn't make it.

Woah. Wait a fucking minute. Buddy is my Dad's best friend when he was growing up in the mining hills of Pennsylvania. Buddy, like my Dad, is 56 years old! Granted he's an Army reservist but give me a fucking break. George Bush, the Idiot I voted for, needs 56 year old men to go to a dangerouis shithole like Afghanistan?

I know, I know. It's all Bill Clinton's fault, he downsized the military...blah blah blah.

Fuck that.

This is George's mess. How about this...If you don't have the resources to go to war, dont. Unless you are willing to get your balls out of your pocket and use some of the awesome weaponry at our disposal, DON"T FUCKING GET INVOLVED. If if IS important enough for us to get involved USE THE FUCKING BIG GUNS not boots filled with 56 year old men.

So, as if that's not bad enough...

They dicked him around.

They told him he was shipping out 3 FUCKING TIMES.

Buddy is recently divorced. He and his wife split with the understanding she would get the house and she would leave his pension alone. So, Buddy rents.

So, 3 FUCKING times Buddy had to put all his belongings into storage and get rid of his apartment. 3 FUCKING TIMES!

That's how we treat our soldiers and the government cant figure out why no one wants to join and no one wants to re-up.

Fucking disgraceful.

Mom, if you read this I apologize for the gratuitous use of the word 'fucking."

I Like It.

My sister forwarded me this picture with the title...

"Fw: why was there no looting in Texas after Rita?"

Very funny. I like it.

Whats even funnier is the comment that her friend who forwarded it to her put on the email.

"Amy, wouldn't your brother look perfect in this picture :-)"

Indeed I would.

Globe vs. Big Dig, Black vs. White?

This is an odd story. I want to follow this.

Stanley Seney, 28, had allegedly pointed his gun, and possibly even fired, at two uniformed cops seconds after he apparently unleashed a fusillade of bullets at a Mercedes, killing the passenger inside, BPD Superintendent Paul Joyce said.
The man shot in the car, 27-year-old Michael Hayward of Revere, later died, and a third man was wounded. It was unclear how many weapons were fired during the 2:15 a.m. melee.

Hayward=The white guy.The victim. Big dig worker.
Seney=The black guy. The shooter. Boston Globe employee.
Makes it easier to keep track.

Both officers fired at Seney, and he died a short time later at Boston Medical Center, Joyce said. The suspect's weapon was recovered in the parking lot, but Joyce could not say if he fired the gun at the cops.

Um...ask the cops maybe?

Joyce refused to disclose how many weapons were found at the scene, or to reveal how many shots were believed to have been fired.

THERE ARE NO GUNS IN BOSTON. I REPEAT, YOUR ARE COMPLETELY SAFE, THERE ARE NO GUNS IN BOSTON.

Suffolk District Attorney Dan Conley said the shooting appeared to be a justified use of force.

Good call Dan! Tough one to figure out?

Before he was shot dead, Seney had gotten into a verbal dispute with Hayward, witnesses said. Both men were leaving Venu nightclub at 100 Warrenton St., which was hosting a hip-hop party, police sources said.

Guns don't kill people, hip-hop parties do.

It was unclear if Seney, who, until last week was employed by The Boston Globe, knew Hayward, a Big Dig laborer, before the deadly encounter.

Hmmmm. That's where this could get interesting.

Last night, Hayward's girlfriend refused to leave the Revere home the couple recently purchased together. Friends of the victim declined to identify her, but said the fight could have been racially motivated because Hayward, who is white, was dating a black woman. Seney is black.
``All her friends and ex-boyfriends were mad that she was dating a white guy,'' said the victim's close friend, Kristian Lombardi, 27.``He would do absolutely anything for his friends. I love him to death.''

Really? You mean blacks can be racists too? Holy shit! Call the fucking Boston Globe!

MMMMM.

What the hell?


Thanks Bruce for pointing that one out.

Harriet Miers

Well, the Democrats are pleased with Bush. You know what that means? It means he fucked us again. Why do we even bother to elect Republicans? Jay Severin got it right when he said if Bush had two Supreme Court seats at his disposal he would give one away. Way to go dummy. Man, I voted for a fucking idiot.